Mind control-or lack thereof

     I've been attempting to write a paper for the past hour and a half. In that period of time I've stared at a blank page in Microsoft Word, watched two of my favorite YouTube videos (David goes to the dentist, and Marcel the Shell in case you're wondering), gone on Facebook a few times, stared at a Microsoft Word page with my name, teacher, class, date, and title on it, and looked through all the news on the Yahoo homepage. My actions would suggest that I have been trying to not write my paper, but I really have been attempting to make some progress. One would think that with a rough draft due tomorrow morning (inducing last minute panic), a pretty solid topic, and a maximum page limit of three pages (double spaced) that it would be easy to knock this paper out and get on with my life. But I can't seem to focus.
     As I was looking through the news on Yahoo.com I came across an article that was talking about games that you control with your MIND! Can you imagine?! The "games" that are currently being tested aren't really what you would call games, they just do simple things depending what your brain waves are doing. You wear this funny headset that looks like the Cerebro machine in X-Men, then you just think really, really hard and ideally the game would do what you want. Read the article, it sounds a lot more legitimate when they describe it. They say it's possible that this will be mainstream technology in ten years! Just think, in ten years the Kinect is going to be the equivalent of Nintendo 64.
     What do mind control games have to do with my lack of productivity in the homework department? Pretty much nothing--except for the fact that if I tried to play a mind control game right now it wouldn't work. At all. Because I don't have the slightest capability to control my mind right now. If I put on the headset there's a high probability that the sensors wouldn't detect even a trace of activity.
     So, the point of this story is that I hope I get this paper done before school tomorrow. If I don't it's probably OK. At the rate technology is going there's a chance that by the time I graduate from college robots will be running everything, and anything humans can do will be obsolete.

BREAKING NEWS: Publisher Limits Shelf Life for E-books at Librar...Oh wait, no one cares.

     I was reading the newspaper yesterday, and considering the state that Japan is in, it's no surprise that at least fifty percent of the A section and bits and pieces of every other section had pieces on some aspect of the disaster as well. I, for one, am really glad there's been so much information available, it's a really big deal and this is gonna be one of those things we tell our kids about.

     There was around half of the A section of the paper that wasn't about Japan. I don't really think that it matters either way, in fact I think it's good that there was information regarding the rest of the world because it is important that we move forward from disasters. The rest of the world doesn't stop moving even if one part does. 

     I was a little confused though why "Publisher Limits Shelf Life for Library E-Books" was on the front page. Really? The front page? Northern Japan is in shambles. Their stock market lost over $620 billion dollars which is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the state of their economy. And the cherry on top is the threat of a nuclear meltdown, the likes of which we haven't seen since Chernobyl. Putting Japan's issues aside, last time I checked there was still a revolution going on in Libya, congress is continuing their spat over how to cut down the budget, and there are still troops in the middle east. So amidst all this why on earth would they put a story about copyright issues on the front page? On a slow news day, I would probably be upset at the injustice those poor library's are facing, but today, tomorrow, and probably at least the next two weeks, don't count on it.

Are anyone else's dreams this weird?

I had a really weird dream last night. It made me laugh at how strange dreams are sometimes. This is a list of the best dream experiences I've ever had.


-Last night I had a dream that my sister wrote a blog that said this: 
I was supposed to be in Nevada this weekend. Too bad I'm not. Since Kyle doesn't live in state I can't spend this day with him. My entire life I've been waiting to spend this day with my husband. Why didn't I get to go spend pi day with kyle? How could we miss our first PI day together?
     -Why did I remember this verbatim? Usually I forget dreams as soon as I wake up.
     -Why does my subconscious think my sister is such a big nerd? Don't get me wrong, she is, but not like this.
-One time I had a dream that I was a spy for the CIA and my brother was my partner. I was captured and luckily they forgot to check my back pocket for my cell phone. I texted my brother "I'm in trouble, help me!". Later that day I get a text from a friend asking me what I meant. Turns out I texted a weird mess to him at 4 in the morning. Has that ever happened to anyone else?
-This isn't strictly a dream, but it involves sleeping. My roommate gets up at 4:30 every morning to go to work. Usually once a week, sometimes more, I'll say a few words, or on a good day I might even get a full sentence out. I wish I could video tape myself or something just so I could see the stupid things I do early in the morning.

Banished.

Wow, I slept so badly yesterday. Wanna know why? I slept on the couch last night. Don't ask me why my roommate made me do it. All semester things have been fine. Not even one fight. But last night she made it very clear that she didn't want me sleeping in our room so I went and slept in the living room. Luckily we have the best couch in our building. But still, what the heck? Gotta love roommates right?

Oh, I forgot to mention that she slept on the couch too. For some random reason she decided that we should have a sleepover in the living room on a school night. Obviously I agreed.

I love college.

Looks Like Denim, Feels Like PJ's!

I always told myself that when I turned eighteen I would buy ONE thing from an infomercial on TV. Since I already have a Snuggie©  and I just don't have the space for a Bowflex©, I've just been waiting for the perfect item to purchase from TV. Imagine my excitement when I saw a commercial for Pajama Jeans!

These are just perfect for everyone. For example, do you ever have those mornings when you just want to go to roll out of bed and walk out the door? I have them, frequently. Pretty much every day. When I was younger, in order to speed up my morning, one night I slept in my outfit for the next day. I only did it once because, one, in the morning my clothes looked strangely worse than they did before I went to sleep; secondly, school clothes tend to not be the most comfortable clothes to sleep in. So, considering my lack of motivation to look remotely presentable each morning it's obvious why I would be so thrilled about these.

Imagine the possibilities!

-After a long day are you too tired to change from your normal clothes to your pajamas? Never fear, they're one and the same! In a perfect world you could go for days without switching pants!

-Are you sick of the your jeans leaving indents in your skin? Forget about the fact that your jeans are at lease a size too small, pajama jeans don't even have buttons. They're soft and stretchy so they'll never be too tight. They're so comfortable and breathable that you could exercise in them, yet they fit like real designer jeans. They even have a "butt lifting design". 

-The best part about all this is that a pair of designer jeans costs at least $80 dollars. Lucky for us you can get a pair of pajamas that pretend to be jeans for $40! 


So, all jokes aside, at the end of the day these "pants" are ridiculous. I just want to point out that $40 (plus shipping and handling) is enough for some fun "pajamas" from Victoria's Secret. If I were going to sleep in $40 anything I would definitely pick something other than pajama jeans.


So consider carefully, but if you decide that these actually are for you, the toll free number is 1-800-785-4988. Who knows, maybe these will turn into a sensation like the Snuggie. 




Let's hope not.

Lady Gag-Gag

Who in their right mind comes to the Grammys encased in an egg? Lady Gaga obviously, and the state of her mind is up for debate. We should have seen it coming though. How could you top coming to the VMA's in a real. live. meat dress? Apparently this was her way of one-upping herself.

So between the absurd outfits, her "music", pretty much everything about her, I find myself asking, why isn't the whole world sick of Lady Gaga?

Why are people so impressed with a lady who only wears stripper outfits or weird dresses. Why did her concert tour do so well, but she can't sing at ALL. Even on her album when they can make her sound good, her lyrics are weird.

I don't think I'm the only one who hopes this obsession with Lady Gaga ends soon. Really soon.

P.S. Her new single, Born This Way, which has been #1 on iTunes for the past four days sounds exactly like Express Yourself by Madonna. Just sayin'.

Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D.)

It came to my knowledge this week that the popular synonym of Valentines Day, singles awareness day, spells SAD. First, it made me wonder if the person who coined that phrase knew that the acronym would spell that particular word (they probably did). Then it made me wonder, who decided that Valentines Day is such a terrible holiday? Sure, maybe not everyone has a significant other of the opposite gender to share the day with but that doesn't mean it has to be the worst day ever.

Here are the things that are great about Valentines Day no matter what your Facebook relationship status is.
1. Candy. Duh. Especially because on February 15th all of it will be at least 50% off.
2. Even if you don't have a boy/girlfriend it's fun to have a day specifically devoted to saying "I love you".
3. No one gets judged for acting like a child. No one frowns upon you for buying Batman, Care Bear, or holographic Disney princess valentines.
4. Cheesy love songs are completely acceptable for one day in the year.
5. If you're lucky enough to have a younger brother, sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter, etc. there is nothing funner than experiencing Valentines Day with them. It's fun to make valentines with them, help decorate their valentine box and tease them about who they have a crush on in their class.
6. Not all Valentines Days are like this, but at least this year the weather was perfect. What more could you ask for in February? Even if you hate the holiday you have to love today.

WWJD- What would Jimmer do?

Jimmer (if you want to know more about him read this). He is the poster child of BYU athletics. Every student and faculty member loves him, as does most every resident of Utah county at the very least. I'd go as far as to say that even a handful of UofU students are closet Jimmer fans. Even those who happen to go to BYU and don't worship Jimmer have never dared to voice their dissent out loud.

Until now.

Michelle Peralta finally couldn't handle the burden of hearing Jimmer's name everywhere she went. This prompted her to shoot a letter the the editor of the Daily Universe expressing her distaste. This is what she wrote.

Idol Worship

I can’t walk across campus without hearing Jimmer Fredette’s name a dozen times. His name comes up everywhere: in class, at work, during lunch … really, people? Cut it out with the Jimmer worship. Last time I checked, idol worship was very much frowned upon in the scriptures.

Don’t you have a life to live? Then quit wasting it in front of the TV or in lines at the Marriott Center.

At the very least, stop trying to convert those of us who don’t follow BYU sports and don’t care that baseball and badminton are two different things. Pushing basketball on us isn’t going to make us like it any better.

I’m not blaming Jimmer for all this; was it Nephi’s fault in the Book of Mormon when his brothers worshiped him? As far as I’m concerned, Jimmer is perfectly free to live his dreams. If he reaches his goals and lives his dreams, more power to him. I would like the same courtesy from his fans: let me live my own dreams in peace, even if they don’t include ever sitting in the Marriott Center screaming my brains out.

Before I say anything, can I just point out that, last time I checked, Nephi's brothers didn't worship him. I may have slept through the year we covered the Book of Mormon in seminary, but I do know that things didn't go down that way.

I can't blame Michelle for writing a letter to the editor voicing her distaste for something. That's the purpose of having the option to write to your newspaper. However, I would like to ask though, what was she expecting to happen after it got published? The fervor people have for Jimmer is inextinguishable and if he is threatened in any way BYU kids will fight for him to the death.

Death wasn't required this time though. All it took was the internet--more specifically, Facebook. Within hours people started looking her up on her conveniently public profile. Within nine more hours there were hundreds of comments defending Jimmer's honor. This thread of comments garnered the attention of ESPN. Also within nine hours Michelle Peralta took her profile from public to 100% private. You can't even send her an email. The only thing you can do is send a friend request. Chances are she won't need to worry about that though. The odds are a lot higher that she'll be losing friends after this.

Luckily someone got a copy of the massive amount of comments that were posted before they were covered up. I spent a large chunk of my afternoon reading them. Some are dumb, a few are mean, many are extremely witty, the majority are sacriligeous. I am very proud of the BYU population for coming up with them.

So on behalf of Provo, UT--the crazy place that it is--I'd just like to say: Michelle Peralta, you've been Jimmered.