There Won't Be a Number Five

For a girl I would say I'm kind of an action junkie. I love the Fast and Furious movies not because of the plot (because there isn't one), or because of Vin Diesel (why does anyone like him?), but because of the super cool (if unrealistic) car chases. The A-Team is awesome because even if all the stunts they pull are impossible there are enough explosions and gun fights to keep me happy. But, there comes a point when all the fist fights and car chases can't compensate for the gaping plot holes. If you can suspend your sense of reality for two hours you have a good time, but once you leave the theater your sense of logic kicks in and you realize what was missing in the movie. I am Number Four is one of those movies.

The movie is about a super attractive guy (named John) who is the fourth in line of nine aliens who escaped from their planet but are being hunted by another race from their planet. So, picture this, there's this kid named John, who's really an alien. He can flip a jet ski, has bright blue eyes, knows film photography, would be the perfect boyfriend and is shirtless half the movie. Did I mention he has super speed and strength and his hands possess various magical qualities? How could any girl resist that? So with these things alone you have a promising premise. To draw the boys in there are mild car chases, fist fights, an adorable girlfriend, aliens, awesome technology, and monsters. Oh, and there's a really hot girl who has mad magic skills, kills aliens like it's no big deal, and she has an Australian accent. With these alone you would think you're set up for a pretty great movie. Too bad it couldn't last.

The first part of the movie had a good flow, didn't have too many inconsistencies, and was setting the movie up for a great finale. But then, like it happens in so many movies, it started to fall apart in the second half once everything started concluding and coming together.

All of a sudden the aliens were there and John was a suspected terrorist, and he was in love with this girl who he had known for three days, and the aliens can speak English. Not to mention they try to ease the tension by making the aliens kind of funny/creepy and it doesn't really work, and then all of a sudden the aliens find John and every person in town ends up in the same place and everything is exploding and people are dying. And then there's this part where a waxing machine is still running, spreading around the blood of the now dead janitor. So they take this tunnel to escape, but the aliens somehow end up at the end of it and there's this crazy fight and the hot Australian girl kicks everyone's butt, and then the two humans miraculously don't end up dead. So once all the aliens are killed John probably has a warrant out for his arrest because he basically blew up the school, so now he's leaving with the Australian girl and leaves his true love behind but for some reason takes the nerdy kid with him, and the guy who tried to beat him up in the beginning and steal his girlfriend is suddenly on his side.

Confused at all? How you felt reading that paragraph is how I felt watching the movie. All of a sudden some conclusion would be drawn, or a conflict would come up in a way that was anything but logical. 

At the end of the movie I decided that I enjoyed myself. I love laser guns, and super powers, and of course I'm a sucker for a cute love story--what else does a movie need, really? There was enough action for it to be fun, and just enough plot for everything to stick together (barely). All in all it was a nice way to spend a Tuesday night.  but at the end of the day I'm really glad I only paid $1 for the movie.

The conclusion of the movie was set up perfectly for a sequel, and it could easily be made into a trilogy, or maybe even a saga, but to be honest, it probably won't be. Sorry number five, your story never gets told.