Hollywood's Most Prestigious Association

There comes a point in every actor's life when they cross a line. It's kind of like a rite of passage that they aspire to reach. A few members of this club include Tim Allen, Greg Kinnear, Joan Cusack, John Cusack, Ben Stiller, Sandra Bullock and Eddie Murphey. I'd also like to take this moment to recognize and congratulate the two most recent additions: Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. The exclusive society these people belong to is none other than the MDAGA-otherwise known as the Mom and Dad Actors' Guild of America. Some see entering this association as a bad thing. Like being at that point of your career is a sign that you're a washed-up, has-been, but I disagree.

There are actors that society never tires of watching on the screen. Every movie they make draws crowds, film after film, year after year. However, similar to real life, different periods of time demand different lifestyles and activities. Your whole life can't be lived climbing trees, drawing with sidewalk chalk, and asking your mom if you can call Jimmy to come over and play. At some point you have to grow up and take on grown-up responsibilities. Likewise, an actor can't spend their whole career being the super hott guy/girl, or the hard core action junkie. At some point your six pack becomes less attractive, and it's not realistic for a fifty-five year old man to do parkour all over *insert any large city here*. It's just not a viable path.

With this in mind, actors, if the're smart will take on roles that are more realistic given their stage of life. If you think about it, it's a complement and a blessing to be able to belong to MDAGA. Many actors aren't lucky enough to stick around in Hollywood that long. For example, Hannah Montana most likely will not have the opportunity to be a mom in MDAGA. It would be unrealistic for a forty year old woman play a pouty teenager, therefore the industry will move on to another Disney Channel starlet and Hannah Montana will end up on Celebrity Apprentice. On the other hand, Ryan Gosling will get the chance to be one of our favorite Dad actors because he's a good actor now and he will be twenty years from now too. His roles will just change from hunky heart throb to attractive father figure.

I will admit though, there are some actors who refuse to apply for membership in MDAGA. Nicholas Cage, for example. Although I wish he would because I can't bear a third Ghost Rider installment. On the other side of the coin though, Denzel Washington, Juleah Roberts, George Clooney and Helen Mirren, to name a few, are some who haven't made a mom/dad movie yet. And as of now it seems never will, nor do we want them to, because they just keep getting better.

So while we mourn the end of Matt Damon's Jason Bourne and Private James Ryan days as well as Brad Pitt's era of Achilles, Rusty Ryan, and Mr. Smith, we get to watch them for twenty-thirty more years as they beautifully master more characters that are suited for their age.

The Most Influential Musician of Our Time.

The world watched in awe as a musician rose from obscurity to a global phenomenon in a few short months. She became an icon for those desperate to break free from their ordinary lives and craved recognition and stardom. Some said it was just a song. But it isn't just any song. It's a song that transcends time, age, race, and religion. Yes, it's a song who anyone, no matter the demographic, can relate to. It's so simple, yet so profound, and as such, it will forever be remembered as a song that changed the way we think about life. The world has clung to this idea like moths to a flame. It's what's kept us going through tough times. It can bring a person up from their knees to a defiant upright stance. A single word can give them enough hope to keep marching on. The word, is Friday. The person who will forever live in infamy our hearts for putting this idea in our minds is Rebecca Black. May she have a long career full of deep, meaningful songs which effect us just as much as Friday.


We never really appreciate how much of an impact a simple decision can have on our life. Just think of it, front seat or the back seat. Which one should I choose? If you think about it, small decisions like this are the ones that shape our character and by extension our entire lives. What kind of people would we be without the stepping stones that lead to bigger questions like what kid of cereal we should eat in the morning. The effects of these decisions are monumental. These small actions can shape our destinies. As time goes on they could lead to bigger and bigger questions. Eventually they can lead to truly existential questions like boxers vs. briefs, mayonnaise or Miracle Whip, even, could it be true, cats vs. dogs!


We've been waiting for months for Rebecca Black to enlighten us with her profound lyrics and stimulating music, and at last we've been blessed with another inspired work. I won't say anything about it. I'll let you have your own moment (<<< click), and let the song speak to you in your own way. But I can promise, it'll be an experience you'll never forget, no matter how hard you try. 

Harry Skywalker, Ron Solo, Darth Voldemort

 

I have no claim on the terms nerd, fan girl, geek, gamer or any other similar titles. Even if I wanted to be one of those people I couldn’t be. I don’t know anything about W.O.W., the only video games I play are Mario Kart, Super Mario Galaxy, Rock Band, and Just Dance. Occasionally I play Super Smash Bros (and by "play" I mean push random buttons). When people talk about Pokemon they may as well be speaking Chinese. I never even knew what comic con was until I was seventeen. It’s plain to see that whether I like it or not, the world of video games and science fiction will be forever closed to me in almost all areas.

Despite my obvious lack of nerdiness I can proudly claim to be a super dweeb in two categories--Star Wars and Harry Potter. I’ve been addicted to Harry Potter since the second grade and I’ve loved Star Wars since birth (and by Star Wars I mean the real movies, not those poor excuses of films known as episodes I-III).  At some point I felt like I had to choose where my allegiances really lie and I faced the eternal question--if I were given the chance, what would I be? Jedi or Wizard? I narrowed it down to three categories that one can compare the two worlds by--skills and weaponry, movies, and characters. I've made my choice, what's yours?

Skills and weaponry: 

Wizards have limited power without a wand. As children, it's typical to have unintentional and uncontrollable outbursts of magic, but those are uncommon especially once the wizard has received their own wand. If they don’t have their wand with them a wizard is basically just a normal human being and is thereby useless. However, with their magic stick and enough training a wizard is almost unstoppable. There's a limitless amount of functions that can be accomplished with a little stick of wood and some unicorn hair.

Jedi's have the ultimate weapon. It's a sword and a taser (for lack of a better word) all in one, except better. What kind of taser can cut through a door, deflect laser bullets, slice storm troopers in half, or take the front end of a speeder off? Granted, a light saber isn't as versatile as a wand by any means, however, Jedi's do have the Force which compensates for the lack of utility found in a light saber. With the Force you can do almost as many things as you would be able to do with a wand, but with both hands free, so it's a win-win. Imagine you were saber-less because a certain Sith lord had knocked it out of your hands, all you have to do is use the force and bam--weapon retrieved. 

Movies:

I am constantly in awe of how George Lucas created A New Hope in 1977. The special effects were decades ahead of their time, and to be honest they’re better than a lot of the effects in movies coming out today. Imagine making the Sarlacc (the giant pit with teeth in Episode VI), making the Jabba the Hutt costume, or filming epic speeder chase scene with the, lets face it, archaic technology of the seventies and eighties. In addition, special effects aside, how many times do movie franchises start out with a fantastic first movie, and the sequels that follow get more and more disappointing? The answer is about 95% of the time. Not with Star Wars though. as far as I’m concerned, the last movie, Return of the Jedi, was the best movie of the entire trilogy.

Unlike other series, Harry Potter has gotten better with every movie. In Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, little Hermione, Harry, and Ron were young, inexperienced actors and sometimes it was almost painful to watch. They’ve gotten exponentially better with every film. While I still think the acting is cheesy and contrived sometimes, they get a gold medal for most improved. The special effects have improved vastly as well. In the first and second movies there were Quidditch games where it was all too obvious that there was a green screen as well as "people" who were created by a computer program. But now there are stunning sequences of magic that look so real that it seems like there really is a magical world somewhere. As far as the plot of the movies goes, in general the plot has followed that of the books, which are perfect in every way. Even if there are creative liberties taken with what is and isn’t put in the movies, overall the story stays the same.

Characters:

Harry started off as a young, innocent, naive eleven year old who had no idea of his past or his true potential. throughout the series he grew as a wizard and as a person and by the end he was a mature, powerful person who was ready to take the necessary steps to defeat evil. The series is full of dynamic characters who go through similar journeys as they grow up. Hermione changes from a girl who only cares for school to a very well rounded adult. Ron used to be a boy with severe middle child syndrome and a lack of magical skills. In the end his skills are still pretty average but he got to marry up (Hermione) so I'd consider that a win for him. Aside from Harry's good character progression I did find him somewhat annoying at times. It kills me to hate on the guy who was with me since I was 8 years old, but I've got to admit, he's kind of a diva, he's angry a lot, and sometimes he just annoys me. I know Dumbledore didn't tell him everything, but that guy was probably the busiest wizard ever, give him a break.

Star Wars seriously pulls ahead in this area. Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Darth Vader are arguably the biggest characters in the franchise and they're probably my overall favorites. As with Harry Potter these characters also go through growth and they are better people at the end of the saga. Luke used to be a somewhat irresponsible teenager who's biggest wish was to go off to the Academy like his friends. Little did he know that he'd end up as a Jedi Knight who is responsible for the demise of the evil emperor. Han Solo used to be a selfish nomad tool who cared only for himself and his precious Millenium Falcoln. In the end he gets the girl of his dreams and he even lets a friend take his beloved ship into battle. Of course I can't forget Chewbacca, the worlds most lovable sidekick. He's not very eloquent, but he always gets his point across, and he's always there for his friends.Leia used to be a selfish princess with entitlement issues, by episode IV she's risking her lie for the sake of her friends and the galaxy, she also ends up with Han Solo and becomes the most perfect couple anyone has ever seen. Darth Vader experiences the biggest change of heart anyone has ever seen. He goes from most gifted Jedi the galaxy has ever seen to evil henchmen who does the emperor's bidding to the guy who throws that emperor over a railing to save his son. What a guy. 

And the Winner Is:

After nineteen years, I've finally made my choice. It's hard to choose between my two loves. It's like choosing which child you like best. But sometimes the choice needs to be made--with the movies, I'd never choose between two kids. This choice probably doesn't even matter because the odds that my midi-chlorian count will suddenly go up to a Jedi level are pretty low....but stranger things have happened. Not. But in case in another life I have the chance to become a wizard or a jedi knight I now know for sure that I would most definitely choose a Jedi. May the Force be with you.  

Hitting "News"stands Near You!

The progressive era of America was a time period where our country was going through a lot of change. The government was taking a larger role in citizens' lives, corporate America became more accountable to it's customers, and there were reforms in just about every area of the country. A large portion of the change was due to muckrakers, the exposé journalists of the late 1800's and early 1900's. 


These journalists exposed everything including crime, the food industry, child labor, monopolies  government corruption, and much more. Some of the work is still well known. The Jungle, for example was a book which exposed the meat packing industry, and had a direct effect in cleaning up that industry not to mention creating the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). We can thank these exposé journalists for purifying the country and setting the precedent for transparency in business and politics.


Today, however, muckraking has taken on an entirely new meaning. Don't get me wrong, there are still publications that ask hard questions and deal with real, important issues. These aren't the publications I'm referring to. Other publications full of vapid, vain, and useless information is what bothers me. They're online as well as in every grocery store aisle in America--Tabloid magazines.  Journalism has digressed from articles on monopolies in the oil and train industry to critiquing what the Kardashians were wearing last night, or which celebrity is having "marital issues". People actually care, too. If sales are any indication of what consumers care about, the fact that People magazine sold more magazines in 2010 than Time, Sports Illustrated, Playboy or Maxim, to name a few, shows how much people are interested in gossip magazine topics. 


In the National Enquirer/People/US Weekly there's no need for relevance, accuracy, privacy, or even truth. If Jennifer Lopez happens to relax her face into what looks like a frown, and then she looks at her husband with that face guess what tomorrow's headline will be? "Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony Relationship on the Rocks. Separation is Imminent", followed by an article outlining how their marriage has been falling apart for months--according to an unnamed friend of the family.  I have two responses to this. 1. Who cares? But those magazines sell millions of copies so obviously people do. 2. What journalist would stoop to that level? Maybe their dream of writing for the New York Times didn't work out, but I'd like to think if I didn't get my ideal job I would still keep my integrity and not rely on other people's "problems" to make a living.


Those who are regularly on tabloid covers have probably learned  to block out or even laugh about what's written about them in these magazines, but it's not them I'm worried about. The American public that clamors over this information is contributing to a society that would rather read about Ryan Seacrest's ludicrous salary than the BP oil spill. I'm not blameless and I know it. Sometimes I like to look at before and after pictures of Heidi Montag and her plastic surgery, or read some other stupid article. In the long run though, I appreciate good journalism that talks about a real issue. 


While a portion of the original muckrakers' legacy has become GossipCop.com, there is still plenty of evidence of the good they did for the country and for journalism.  While I'd like to do away with tabloids, the first amendment protects that industry. There's not much I can do to make a difference, one less hit on UsMagazine.com isn't going to hurt them too badly, but I'm still going to buy my New York Times in support of real journalism.

There Won't Be a Number Five

For a girl I would say I'm kind of an action junkie. I love the Fast and Furious movies not because of the plot (because there isn't one), or because of Vin Diesel (why does anyone like him?), but because of the super cool (if unrealistic) car chases. The A-Team is awesome because even if all the stunts they pull are impossible there are enough explosions and gun fights to keep me happy. But, there comes a point when all the fist fights and car chases can't compensate for the gaping plot holes. If you can suspend your sense of reality for two hours you have a good time, but once you leave the theater your sense of logic kicks in and you realize what was missing in the movie. I am Number Four is one of those movies.

The movie is about a super attractive guy (named John) who is the fourth in line of nine aliens who escaped from their planet but are being hunted by another race from their planet. So, picture this, there's this kid named John, who's really an alien. He can flip a jet ski, has bright blue eyes, knows film photography, would be the perfect boyfriend and is shirtless half the movie. Did I mention he has super speed and strength and his hands possess various magical qualities? How could any girl resist that? So with these things alone you have a promising premise. To draw the boys in there are mild car chases, fist fights, an adorable girlfriend, aliens, awesome technology, and monsters. Oh, and there's a really hot girl who has mad magic skills, kills aliens like it's no big deal, and she has an Australian accent. With these alone you would think you're set up for a pretty great movie. Too bad it couldn't last.

The first part of the movie had a good flow, didn't have too many inconsistencies, and was setting the movie up for a great finale. But then, like it happens in so many movies, it started to fall apart in the second half once everything started concluding and coming together.

All of a sudden the aliens were there and John was a suspected terrorist, and he was in love with this girl who he had known for three days, and the aliens can speak English. Not to mention they try to ease the tension by making the aliens kind of funny/creepy and it doesn't really work, and then all of a sudden the aliens find John and every person in town ends up in the same place and everything is exploding and people are dying. And then there's this part where a waxing machine is still running, spreading around the blood of the now dead janitor. So they take this tunnel to escape, but the aliens somehow end up at the end of it and there's this crazy fight and the hot Australian girl kicks everyone's butt, and then the two humans miraculously don't end up dead. So once all the aliens are killed John probably has a warrant out for his arrest because he basically blew up the school, so now he's leaving with the Australian girl and leaves his true love behind but for some reason takes the nerdy kid with him, and the guy who tried to beat him up in the beginning and steal his girlfriend is suddenly on his side.

Confused at all? How you felt reading that paragraph is how I felt watching the movie. All of a sudden some conclusion would be drawn, or a conflict would come up in a way that was anything but logical. 

At the end of the movie I decided that I enjoyed myself. I love laser guns, and super powers, and of course I'm a sucker for a cute love story--what else does a movie need, really? There was enough action for it to be fun, and just enough plot for everything to stick together (barely). All in all it was a nice way to spend a Tuesday night.  but at the end of the day I'm really glad I only paid $1 for the movie.

The conclusion of the movie was set up perfectly for a sequel, and it could easily be made into a trilogy, or maybe even a saga, but to be honest, it probably won't be. Sorry number five, your story never gets told.

Looks Like Denim, Feels Like PJ's!

I always told myself that when I turned eighteen I would buy ONE thing from an infomercial on TV. Since I already have a Snuggie©  and I just don't have the space for a Bowflex©, I've just been waiting for the perfect item to purchase from TV. Imagine my excitement when I saw a commercial for Pajama Jeans!

These are just perfect for everyone. For example, do you ever have those mornings when you just want to go to roll out of bed and walk out the door? I have them, frequently. Pretty much every day. When I was younger, in order to speed up my morning, one night I slept in my outfit for the next day. I only did it once because, one, in the morning my clothes looked strangely worse than they did before I went to sleep; secondly, school clothes tend to not be the most comfortable clothes to sleep in. So, considering my lack of motivation to look remotely presentable each morning it's obvious why I would be so thrilled about these.

Imagine the possibilities!

-After a long day are you too tired to change from your normal clothes to your pajamas? Never fear, they're one and the same! In a perfect world you could go for days without switching pants!

-Are you sick of the your jeans leaving indents in your skin? Forget about the fact that your jeans are at lease a size too small, pajama jeans don't even have buttons. They're soft and stretchy so they'll never be too tight. They're so comfortable and breathable that you could exercise in them, yet they fit like real designer jeans. They even have a "butt lifting design". 

-The best part about all this is that a pair of designer jeans costs at least $80 dollars. Lucky for us you can get a pair of pajamas that pretend to be jeans for $40! 


So, all jokes aside, at the end of the day these "pants" are ridiculous. I just want to point out that $40 (plus shipping and handling) is enough for some fun "pajamas" from Victoria's Secret. If I were going to sleep in $40 anything I would definitely pick something other than pajama jeans.


So consider carefully, but if you decide that these actually are for you, the toll free number is 1-800-785-4988. Who knows, maybe these will turn into a sensation like the Snuggie. 




Let's hope not.

The Recession is Affecting Everyone

The housing market was among the industries that were hit very hardest in the recession that has recently affected our country. After the market tanked there were numerous construction companies which either quit their projects and/or went out of business--or just about.

From the other end of housing were those trying the sell houses. In case anyone had been waiting to see if house prices were going to go up anymore before selling--they should have sold because prices plummeted. Prices dropped by thirty percent all over the country. A home that would have fetched $265,000 in 2007 would only get $180,000 one year later.

There was one section of the consumers who actually prospered due to the bursting of the housing bubble. The buyers. There were countless opportunities to buy partly finished homes at dirt cheap prices, or homes that had been foreclosed on. A home that someone never would have been able to afford was much more attainable.

One such high profile "home" that suffered from the recession was none other than the White House.

In 2007 the White House was worth $332 million. This house has 16 bedrooms, 35 bathrooms, two dozen fireplaces, a tennis court and a bowling alley. You'd think that a house with that many perks would keep it's value. But the value of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has dropped down to a mere $252 million. I feel like the White house would be one of those "priceless" type of dwellings. Especially given the unlimited appeal that it has due to it's history and importance.

Since no one has ever, could ever, or will ever even try to buy the White House why is there a need to appraise it anyway? This leads to a bigger question. Even if there is some reason that such a historic building should be given a value why is it put on the news, much less the Yahoo home page? Probably to make it seem like the president's home life suffers from fluctuations in the economy as well.

Which it doesn't.

Techno Hoodies

Has anyone ever suffered from that age old dilemma of trying to get your headphones to go from your iPod to your ears while your iPod is in your pocket? Oh good. I haven't either. Old Navy on the other hand seems to think that many people struggle with this. Well get ready for a treat. Old Navy has recently come up with...TECHNO HOODIES! These marvels of modern technology have a plug in the right pocket which connects to your music device and the headphones come out the drawstring.

I learned about these on December 17th. It is now December 20th and they are completely sold out. It's completely understandable why these would be such a hot item. Now no one ever has to worry about the nuisance (oh wait, it was never really a nuisance) of taking the earbuds one and a half feet to your ears. Admittedly I would like to give Old Navy a high five for finding a way to incorporate technology into clothing, BUT I feel like they brought in a few new problems.

#1. The earbuds come out the end of the drawstrings and this is where most of my problems come from. Imagine you're trying to listen to music during school without your teacher noticing. Who ISN'T going to notice the fact that some kid has their drawstrings in their ear. Or, what if you're trying to tighten your hoodie while listening to music. Chances are you'll pull out your headphones. And what if you're just wearing your headphones and people are walking by. Nine times out of ten they will think you look like a weirdie for having your drawstrings pulled up to your ears.

#2. Drawstrings get in all sort of trouble on a hoodie. Because of their lack of attachment to the rest of the jacket they tend to swing anywhere and everywhere. Usually this doesn't matter, but at the end of these drawstrings there are miniature speakers on which the whole novelty of the sweater relies. If the headphones get caught in something and break you now essentially have a useless hoodie. Unless you'd like to wear it for real, which you wouldn't. Also, everybody knows that drawstrings are uneven at least 85% of the time. It would be ten times more annoying to have not only the drawstrings uneven but your headphones too. Unless of course the drawstrings aren't functional which would then make the point made in #1. invalid.

So I commend Old Navy for their first endeavor into the technology market. Not only that but great job considering this product sold out in three days. But in the future I hope their other similar endeavors are a lot less...how can I put this without sounding mean....stupid.

The Hunger Games

To say I exaggerate things would be an understatement. A severe understatement. But, in this case everything I say is completely rational and true.

The other day I was buying some shoes on Amazon and needed about $5 of merchandise to qualify for free shipping and since I would rather spend money on something I want than shipping I decided to get a book. This book in particular has a waiting list of 200 people (no lie, when I got put on the waiting list I was number 191). Since I would be in my mid to late 20's by the time I got to read the library's copy I just bought the book. It came in the mail yesterday and let's just say I did nothing all day. This is the best book of my Life!!!

I though about describing it in my own words but since I can't really summarize well because it's next to impossible for me to be brief I just decided to copy/paste.

"In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capital surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capital is harsh and cruel and keeps the other districts in line by forcing them to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight-to-the death on live TV. One boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and sixteen are selected by lottery to play. The winner brings riches and favor to his or her district. But that is nothing compared to what the Capital wins: one more year of fearful compliance with its rules.

Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her impoverished district in the Games. But Katniss has been close to dead before – and survival, for her, is second nature. Without really meaning to, she becomes a contender. But if she is to win, she will have to start making choices that weigh survival against humanity and life against love."

I literally couldn't put the book down all day. The only time I wasn't reading all wednesday evening when I went shooting for mutual, and while I was there I told everyone I came in contact with about the book. I finished it at 11:45 and wow, I am in awe that a book could almost tie Harry Potter for best book on earth.

It's like when you're watching an intense movie or TV show and you are so entranced in it that you don't notice anything around you and when a commercial comes on you literally can't handle waiting to see the rest. This is how the book is. It's almost as intense as TV. How cool is that? I would get to the end of the chapter and freak out a little because I wanted to know what happened next and then I would realize that all I had to do was turn the page.
Wow is all I can say