The Unforeseen Relocation of The Bermuda Triangle.

College is great. As I’ve mentioned before , there are so many people and things to watch. It’s awesome. But as I get more and more used to school fewer and fewer things seem funny. Until today.

              

I was sitting in the hall finishing a paper. As I look over I see a person drop all their things which were conveniently not bound together in any manner. All their books and pencils went everywhere. I sighed a sympathetic sigh because I know all too well what it’s like to have that happen. Luckily she wasn’t by herself and her friends helped her pick up all her things and I went back to my paper.

                

About five minutes passed and I happened to look over to that area and there was someone in the same spot picking up all their things. At first I thought it was the first girl taking forever to pick everything up. But when I looked down at the clock I figured five minutes was way too long for a person to gather their things. Also it was a boy. This means that TWO people dropped their things in the same spot within five minutes of each other! Funny right? Just wait. It gets better.

                

Less than five minutes later the same thing happened AGAIN!!! Just like the previous two times I looked up and saw someone’s things go flying all over the floor. This time I was struggling to keep from laughing out loud. Honestly what are the odds that three people would drop their things in the same spot within such a short amount of time?      

                

I kind of do feel bad for laughing when things like that happen. I would be completely humiliated if I ever had the experience. But really, how could I not laugh. So don’t think I’m a terrible person because you can’t tell me that you’re above allowing yourself at least a small laugh on the inside.

                

As I finished my paper I was wondering, what caused three people to have the same unfortunate experience? The only thing I could come up with is that the Bermuda Triangle mysteriously shifted due to a magnetic shift of the North Pole. But that would be superstitious nonsense, and I don’t believe in such things. But I will admit that when I had to go that way to get to class 20 minutes later, I won’t lie, I definitely went the long way to avoid that patch of hallway. I had way too much stuff in my arms to take the risk.

YouTube Part 2

So I love YouTube more than anyone I know. Everyone knows this. Considering that it's finals week at BYU and all of my friends are super focused boring I've been spending a lot of time watching videos. I figured that since everyone is trying to focus on school the least I could do was provide them with something distracting. So, these are my favorite videos that I've seen in the past few months.

This guy is hilarious. He does a ton of random pranks like this. I just chose one of my favorites.

In general the commercials are the only reason to watch the Superbowl. Considering that this year the commercials weren't as good as those in years past the only reason to watch was for the Doritos commercials. This one is probably my favorite.

Blooper reels are my favorite kind of videos. This one is pretty great.

This was the first YouTube video I ever saw. My friend showed it to me in the 8th grade and it's been in my top five favorite videos ever since.

This isn't funny or anything. It's just awesome. Go Cougars.

This video is super painful, but really funny and totally worth your time.

So, I hope these made your day as much as they always make mine. Good luck on finals everyone!

Are anyone else's dreams this weird?

I had a really weird dream last night. It made me laugh at how strange dreams are sometimes. This is a list of the best dream experiences I've ever had.


-Last night I had a dream that my sister wrote a blog that said this: 
I was supposed to be in Nevada this weekend. Too bad I'm not. Since Kyle doesn't live in state I can't spend this day with him. My entire life I've been waiting to spend this day with my husband. Why didn't I get to go spend pi day with kyle? How could we miss our first PI day together?
     -Why did I remember this verbatim? Usually I forget dreams as soon as I wake up.
     -Why does my subconscious think my sister is such a big nerd? Don't get me wrong, she is, but not like this.
-One time I had a dream that I was a spy for the CIA and my brother was my partner. I was captured and luckily they forgot to check my back pocket for my cell phone. I texted my brother "I'm in trouble, help me!". Later that day I get a text from a friend asking me what I meant. Turns out I texted a weird mess to him at 4 in the morning. Has that ever happened to anyone else?
-This isn't strictly a dream, but it involves sleeping. My roommate gets up at 4:30 every morning to go to work. Usually once a week, sometimes more, I'll say a few words, or on a good day I might even get a full sentence out. I wish I could video tape myself or something just so I could see the stupid things I do early in the morning.

Banished.

Wow, I slept so badly yesterday. Wanna know why? I slept on the couch last night. Don't ask me why my roommate made me do it. All semester things have been fine. Not even one fight. But last night she made it very clear that she didn't want me sleeping in our room so I went and slept in the living room. Luckily we have the best couch in our building. But still, what the heck? Gotta love roommates right?

Oh, I forgot to mention that she slept on the couch too. For some random reason she decided that we should have a sleepover in the living room on a school night. Obviously I agreed.

I love college.

Looks Like Denim, Feels Like PJ's!

I always told myself that when I turned eighteen I would buy ONE thing from an infomercial on TV. Since I already have a Snuggie©  and I just don't have the space for a Bowflex©, I've just been waiting for the perfect item to purchase from TV. Imagine my excitement when I saw a commercial for Pajama Jeans!

These are just perfect for everyone. For example, do you ever have those mornings when you just want to go to roll out of bed and walk out the door? I have them, frequently. Pretty much every day. When I was younger, in order to speed up my morning, one night I slept in my outfit for the next day. I only did it once because, one, in the morning my clothes looked strangely worse than they did before I went to sleep; secondly, school clothes tend to not be the most comfortable clothes to sleep in. So, considering my lack of motivation to look remotely presentable each morning it's obvious why I would be so thrilled about these.

Imagine the possibilities!

-After a long day are you too tired to change from your normal clothes to your pajamas? Never fear, they're one and the same! In a perfect world you could go for days without switching pants!

-Are you sick of the your jeans leaving indents in your skin? Forget about the fact that your jeans are at lease a size too small, pajama jeans don't even have buttons. They're soft and stretchy so they'll never be too tight. They're so comfortable and breathable that you could exercise in them, yet they fit like real designer jeans. They even have a "butt lifting design". 

-The best part about all this is that a pair of designer jeans costs at least $80 dollars. Lucky for us you can get a pair of pajamas that pretend to be jeans for $40! 


So, all jokes aside, at the end of the day these "pants" are ridiculous. I just want to point out that $40 (plus shipping and handling) is enough for some fun "pajamas" from Victoria's Secret. If I were going to sleep in $40 anything I would definitely pick something other than pajama jeans.


So consider carefully, but if you decide that these actually are for you, the toll free number is 1-800-785-4988. Who knows, maybe these will turn into a sensation like the Snuggie. 




Let's hope not.

WWJD- What would Jimmer do?

Jimmer (if you want to know more about him read this). He is the poster child of BYU athletics. Every student and faculty member loves him, as does most every resident of Utah county at the very least. I'd go as far as to say that even a handful of UofU students are closet Jimmer fans. Even those who happen to go to BYU and don't worship Jimmer have never dared to voice their dissent out loud.

Until now.

Michelle Peralta finally couldn't handle the burden of hearing Jimmer's name everywhere she went. This prompted her to shoot a letter the the editor of the Daily Universe expressing her distaste. This is what she wrote.

Idol Worship

I can’t walk across campus without hearing Jimmer Fredette’s name a dozen times. His name comes up everywhere: in class, at work, during lunch … really, people? Cut it out with the Jimmer worship. Last time I checked, idol worship was very much frowned upon in the scriptures.

Don’t you have a life to live? Then quit wasting it in front of the TV or in lines at the Marriott Center.

At the very least, stop trying to convert those of us who don’t follow BYU sports and don’t care that baseball and badminton are two different things. Pushing basketball on us isn’t going to make us like it any better.

I’m not blaming Jimmer for all this; was it Nephi’s fault in the Book of Mormon when his brothers worshiped him? As far as I’m concerned, Jimmer is perfectly free to live his dreams. If he reaches his goals and lives his dreams, more power to him. I would like the same courtesy from his fans: let me live my own dreams in peace, even if they don’t include ever sitting in the Marriott Center screaming my brains out.

Before I say anything, can I just point out that, last time I checked, Nephi's brothers didn't worship him. I may have slept through the year we covered the Book of Mormon in seminary, but I do know that things didn't go down that way.

I can't blame Michelle for writing a letter to the editor voicing her distaste for something. That's the purpose of having the option to write to your newspaper. However, I would like to ask though, what was she expecting to happen after it got published? The fervor people have for Jimmer is inextinguishable and if he is threatened in any way BYU kids will fight for him to the death.

Death wasn't required this time though. All it took was the internet--more specifically, Facebook. Within hours people started looking her up on her conveniently public profile. Within nine more hours there were hundreds of comments defending Jimmer's honor. This thread of comments garnered the attention of ESPN. Also within nine hours Michelle Peralta took her profile from public to 100% private. You can't even send her an email. The only thing you can do is send a friend request. Chances are she won't need to worry about that though. The odds are a lot higher that she'll be losing friends after this.

Luckily someone got a copy of the massive amount of comments that were posted before they were covered up. I spent a large chunk of my afternoon reading them. Some are dumb, a few are mean, many are extremely witty, the majority are sacriligeous. I am very proud of the BYU population for coming up with them.

So on behalf of Provo, UT--the crazy place that it is--I'd just like to say: Michelle Peralta, you've been Jimmered.

Techno Hoodies

Has anyone ever suffered from that age old dilemma of trying to get your headphones to go from your iPod to your ears while your iPod is in your pocket? Oh good. I haven't either. Old Navy on the other hand seems to think that many people struggle with this. Well get ready for a treat. Old Navy has recently come up with...TECHNO HOODIES! These marvels of modern technology have a plug in the right pocket which connects to your music device and the headphones come out the drawstring.

I learned about these on December 17th. It is now December 20th and they are completely sold out. It's completely understandable why these would be such a hot item. Now no one ever has to worry about the nuisance (oh wait, it was never really a nuisance) of taking the earbuds one and a half feet to your ears. Admittedly I would like to give Old Navy a high five for finding a way to incorporate technology into clothing, BUT I feel like they brought in a few new problems.

#1. The earbuds come out the end of the drawstrings and this is where most of my problems come from. Imagine you're trying to listen to music during school without your teacher noticing. Who ISN'T going to notice the fact that some kid has their drawstrings in their ear. Or, what if you're trying to tighten your hoodie while listening to music. Chances are you'll pull out your headphones. And what if you're just wearing your headphones and people are walking by. Nine times out of ten they will think you look like a weirdie for having your drawstrings pulled up to your ears.

#2. Drawstrings get in all sort of trouble on a hoodie. Because of their lack of attachment to the rest of the jacket they tend to swing anywhere and everywhere. Usually this doesn't matter, but at the end of these drawstrings there are miniature speakers on which the whole novelty of the sweater relies. If the headphones get caught in something and break you now essentially have a useless hoodie. Unless you'd like to wear it for real, which you wouldn't. Also, everybody knows that drawstrings are uneven at least 85% of the time. It would be ten times more annoying to have not only the drawstrings uneven but your headphones too. Unless of course the drawstrings aren't functional which would then make the point made in #1. invalid.

So I commend Old Navy for their first endeavor into the technology market. Not only that but great job considering this product sold out in three days. But in the future I hope their other similar endeavors are a lot less...how can I put this without sounding mean....stupid.

Headline: Local grocery store doing their part to help customers during the recession.

You know the days when you look through your fridge, pantry and cupboards and there's nothing you want to eat so you tell your mom, "Mom! you need to go shopping there's nothing to eat!" And then she goes off on you saying how the pioneers and the pilgrims had to eat weeds and rodents and I should be grateful that I have a fridge full of ketchup, salad dressing, and hot sauce.

What, that doesn't happen to anyone else? Dang.

Anyway, that was not the situation with me. I literally had nothing to eat in my entire apartment. Other than inedible things like baking powder, brownie mix, and vegetable oil, I had maybe a single tortilla and some peanut butter.

It should come as no surprise that my grocery bill was obscene. Imagine my excitement when my cashier handed me this:

Wow, what a steal. I can save 50 whole cents on my groceries next week! Let's get real. It would make sense if the promotion was get 50 cents off every $5 or even $10 you spend, but 50 cents off $50 is only 1%. Really?

It's talent week at the Glenwood!

So far life in my apartment has been great. There are a few downsides (the top drawer in the bathroom falls out if you open it too far, the kitchen table and chairs are wobbly, and our hallway slopes), but the positives far outweigh the negatives. There is one weird thing that I can't quite decide if it's a bad thing or a good thing though
Starting Sunday night Natalie (my roommate) and I kept hearing different things coming from another apartment near our bedroom. This is how it went down.

Sunday: Harp music
Monday: Guitar
Tuesday: Singing
Wednesday: Singing AND Guitar
Thursday: This one was the weirdest. We couldn't decide if it was open mic poetry night or someone reciting Shakespeare. Either way someone would speak dramatically, and then people would clap afterward.

Since then we haven't heard things as consistently as we did the first week. Sometimes I still get to go to sleep to harp music though, which is nice. My only question is who on earth brings a harp to college?

Here's your change sir.

It's been almost two weeks since school started. College is so completely different from high school. One of my favorite differences is that there are so many things and people to watch. Sometimes weird, sometimes hilarious. This happened today:
A guy was at the vending machine getting a soda right next to the table where I was reading. He paid with a $10. He got his soda and waited for his change. All of a sudden the vending machine started spitting out nickels. The fact that he got roughly $8 in quarters is funny by itself. But the best part was that instead of pouring the change into the compartment at the bottom of the machine the coins came flying out of it and landing on the ground all around the vending machine. It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. Either way, it completely made my day.